40 Of The Funniest Quotes Ever

40 Funniest Quotes Ever. More funny quotes here.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 301

To boldly go where no sarcasm has gone before.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 311

That must be the explanation or else I have two devils on my shoulder, no angels.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 320

Nah, this isn’t true. Sometimes you’re asleep too.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 330

There goes the fruit of your labors.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 322

Just keep holding on to that.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 313

Oh gosh…oh well! Guess it’s Chardonnay cheerios today.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 328

And the chaise is a gateway drug.

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The Funniest Quotes Ever 317

Honestly, you should admire my followthrough.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 331

And the squirrel is likely rabid.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 303

In the dark, no one can see me eat, and I like it that way.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 329

My survival skills are very limited.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 307

Who says I’m crazy?

The Funniest Quotes Ever 302

What’s important is I like me!

The Funniest Quotes Ever 304

Designer, natch.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 312

And when mom and dad paid for everything.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 310

And it’s stuck in the on position!

The Funniest Quotes Ever 309

Be a Lucy: Make em laugh, slay them with your looks, and run the whole damn place, ala Desilu

 

The Funniest Quotes Ever 308At least you can say I’m good at decision-making.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 306

Sit tight. It’s going to be a bumpy night here once I get started.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 305

There’s a difference.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 314

Too bad you can’t donate good looks!

The Funniest Quotes Ever 315

That’s the test.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 316

Plan B, as in Plan beautiful!

The Funniest Quotes Ever 318

Let’s just get my shame out of the way now.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 319

Then all bets are off.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 321

But keep trying to claim the upperhand.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 327

I can buy a pack of water balloons and fling them..that’s about it.

 

The Funniest Quotes Ever 326

Unless you’re a cup of Joe, I don’t want to see you.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 325

Now we know why our parents were stressed at times. But that’s the secret.. No one knows what’s going on, so make the best of it.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 324

Not that I’ve tested it.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 323

Forecast likely of more WTFs throughout the night.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 332

Is this a line from Twilight?

The Funniest Quotes Ever 333

Then it’s the end of the world.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 334

I hope it at least has three settings for that mistake.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 335

Success has the work.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 336

Is there pre-crime thought police yet? Thank goodness.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 337

I’m doing you all a favor!

The Funniest Quotes Ever 340

or a barnacle on a whale.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 339

Three year champion, consecutive here.

The Funniest Quotes Ever 338

No one says you can’t start it with lite beer either.

 

 

 

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