40 Snarky Funny Minions Quotes to Crack You Up
Feeling a little snarky and need to blow off some steam? Check out these hilariously snarky minion quotes ready to crack you up!
No officer, i haven’t been drinking
i was trying to avoid all the potholes!
-unknown
There’s a lot of them you see.
Never argue with a liar.
you can’t win because they believe their own lies.
-unknown
Just walk away..or close the window, because you’re likely arguing on the internet or phone.
If stress burned calories,
i’d be a supermodel.
-unknown
One of the best snarky minion quotes to share on New Years Day.
I’ve been diagnosed with c. R. S.
can’t remember sh! T.
-unknown
But what was the point of this post?
Oh, so you wanna argue?
bring it.
i got my caps lock on.
-unknown
So ready. SO READY.
Just because i give advice,
doesn’t mean i know more than you,
it just means i’ve done more stupid sh! T!
-unknown
I’m warning you..
Two most honest people in this world:
drunk people and little kids.
One is more fun.
I love waving at random people.
because you know for the rest of the day they’re trying to figure out who i was.
:p
-unknown
They just know they know my face, but from where?
Everyone will be impressed.
If mama ain’t happy,
ain’t nobody happy…
if grandma ain’t happy,
run! …
-unknown
Grandma will get you.
I don’t want to be a grown up anymore.
it’s not nearly as much fun as it was supposed to be.
-unknown
Refund please?
I am temporarily out of order,
please try again later.
-unknown
I may be out of order for a bit.
Yes, it seems so.
I tried to send you something sexy,
but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox.
-unknown
He’s just jealous!
Sometimes, being silly with a friend,
is the best therapy!
-unknown
But sometimes it can be too fun.
Instead of “single” as a marital status…
i prefer “independently owned and operated”.
-unknown
Nothing wrong with that.
I’m pretty certain,
that there is nothing more satisfying in life,
than sleeping in while someone else gets ready for work.
-unknown
Best feeling ever. Snooze away.
Sweet as sugar,
hard as ice.
hurt me once,
i’ll kill you twice.
-unknown
Simple but sweet.
Some relationships are like tom and jerry…
they irritate each other, tease each other,
but they still can’t live without each other.
-unknown
Those are sometimes the best.
Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary.
however, i looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned,
if you drink too much of it,
it’s likely tequilya!
-unknown
Ah, drunk wisdom.
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.
then you walk into a pole.
-unknown
Um, ouch?
It’s never too late to be what you want to be…
unless you want to be younger,
then your’e screwed.
-unknown
Pick a new dream.
I sometimes stop in the middle of the room and ask myself:
what was i going to do?
-author forgotten
Why did I come in here?
Wife: you pick dinner
me: pizza
wife: no
me: tacos
wife: no
me: subs
wife: no
me: what do you want?!
wife: it’s up to you.
-author killed in unfortunate kitchen accident
Spoiler: Wife picks the first thing you said.
My saturday was going pretty well
until i realized it was sunday.
-unknown
Worst Sunday ever.
When people hurt you over and over again,
think of them as sandpaper.
they scratch and hurt you,
but later you’ll be shining and polished.
while they end up useless.
-unknown
Going to be a diamond.
I always say “morning”,
instead of “good morning”,
because if it were a good morning,
i’d still be in bed asleep!
-unknown
It should just be “morning.”
Every woman’s dream is that a man will take her in his arms,
throw her into bed…
and clean the whole house while she sleeps.
-unknown
What a sexy fantasy.
I’m so broke,
my nervous breakdown is on layaway.
-unknown
It’s cool, I can make payments soon.
They’re not grey hairs,
i’m just growing tinsel.
-unknown
Jingle, jingle!
Last year,
i asked santa for the most awesome person ever for christmas.
next day i woke up in a box.
-unknown
Well that solves that.
How to stop time: kiss
how to travel in time: read
how to escape time: music
how to feel time: write
how to waste time: social media
-unknown
Sad but true.
Hey santa,
if i’m good at being naughty,
which list do i go on?
-unknown
Do I get to pick?
Dear santa,
i’ve been good all year!
ok, most of the time.
once in a while.
nevermind, i’ll buy my own stuff.
-unknown
Maybe next year, Santa.
Santa saw your facebook photos.
you are getting clothes and a dictionary for christmas.
-unknown
Surprise!
Is it just me,
or does anyone else think we’re stuck in a snow globe,
and some jerk keeps giving it a shake!?
Don’t annoy me this week, because if you do…
i’ll give your number to all the kids,
and tell them it’s santa’s hotline.
-unknown
Oh that’s cold.
There is always ups and downs in our lives.
so up the music,
down the cocktails
and make the most of what you’ve got!
-unknown
Drink it up, live it up!
Dear santa,
please bring me a self-cleaning house for christmas this year.
thank you.
-unknown
But not one that will murder me like HAL.
Well i’m ready to start my christmas shopping.
who’s got some money i can use.
-unknown