40 Snarky Funny Minions Quotes to Crack You Up
Feeling a little snarky and need to blow off some steam? Check out these hilariously snarky minion quotes ready to crack you up!
![Snarky Minion Quote About Drunk Driving](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-avoidpotholes.jpg)
No officer, i haven’t been drinking
i was trying to avoid all the potholes!
-unknown
There’s a lot of them you see.
![Snarky Minion Quote About Liars](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-believetheirownlies.jpg)
Never argue with a liar.
you can’t win because they believe their own lies.
-unknown
Just walk away..or close the window, because you’re likely arguing on the internet or phone.
![Snarky Minion Quote About Stress](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-burnedcalories.jpg)
If stress burned calories,
i’d be a supermodel.
-unknown
One of the best snarky minion quotes to share on New Years Day.
![Snarky Minion Quote About Diseases And Syndromes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-cantremember.jpg)
I’ve been diagnosed with c. R. S.
can’t remember sh! T.
-unknown
But what was the point of this post?
![Use This Snarky Minion Quote To Reply To Someone Arguing On A Forum](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-capslockon.jpg)
Oh, so you wanna argue?
bring it.
i got my caps lock on.
-unknown
So ready. SO READY.
![Funny Minion Quote About Snarky Advice Givers](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-donemore.jpg)
Just because i give advice,
doesn’t mean i know more than you,
it just means i’ve done more stupid sh! T!
-unknown
I’m warning you..
![Snarky Quotes About Drunk People](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-drunkkids.jpg)
Two most honest people in this world:
drunk people and little kids.
One is more fun.
![Snarky Quotes About Waving To Strangers](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-figureout.jpg)
I love waving at random people.
because you know for the rest of the day they’re trying to figure out who i was.
:p
-unknown
They just know they know my face, but from where?
![Minion Goingtothejim](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-goingtothejim.jpg)
Everyone will be impressed.
![Snarky Minion Remark About Keeping Mama Happy](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-grandmahappy.jpg)
If mama ain’t happy,
ain’t nobody happy…
if grandma ain’t happy,
run! …
-unknown
Grandma will get you.
![Snarky Quote From Minions About Growing Up](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-notfungrownup.jpg)
I don’t want to be a grown up anymore.
it’s not nearly as much fun as it was supposed to be.
-unknown
Refund please?
![Snarky Quote To Tell People Not To Disturb You](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-outoforder.jpg)
I am temporarily out of order,
please try again later.
-unknown
I may be out of order for a bit.
Yes, it seems so.
![Funny Minion Quote About Sexy Presents](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-sexymail.jpg)
I tried to send you something sexy,
but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox.
-unknown
He’s just jealous!
![Snarky Minions Remark About Being Silly With Friends](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-sillyfriends.jpg)
Sometimes, being silly with a friend,
is the best therapy!
-unknown
But sometimes it can be too fun.
![Snarky Remark About Facebook Relationship Status](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-singleprefer.jpg)
Instead of “single” as a marital status…
i prefer “independently owned and operated”.
-unknown
Nothing wrong with that.
![Snarky Minion Quote About Sleeping In](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-somegetsreadyforwork.jpg)
I’m pretty certain,
that there is nothing more satisfying in life,
than sleeping in while someone else gets ready for work.
-unknown
Best feeling ever. Snooze away.
![Snarky Minions Comeback To Use When Someone Hurts You](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-sweetassugar.jpg)
Sweet as sugar,
hard as ice.
hurt me once,
i’ll kill you twice.
-unknown
Simple but sweet.
![Snarky Quote About Relationships From The Minions](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-tomandjerry.jpg)
Some relationships are like tom and jerry…
they irritate each other, tease each other,
but they still can’t live without each other.
-unknown
Those are sometimes the best.
![Snarky Quote About Alcoholics From Minions](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-vodka.jpg)
Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary.
however, i looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned,
if you drink too much of it,
it’s likely tequilya!
-unknown
Ah, drunk wisdom.
![Snarky Minion Quote About Sending Texts](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-walkintoapole.jpg)
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.
then you walk into a pole.
-unknown
Um, ouch?
![Snarky Minion Quotes About Aging](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-wanttobeyounger.jpg)
It’s never too late to be what you want to be…
unless you want to be younger,
then your’e screwed.
-unknown
Pick a new dream.
![Funny Snarky Minion Quotes About Forgetfulness](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-whatwasigoingtodo.jpg)
I sometimes stop in the middle of the room and ask myself:
what was i going to do?
-author forgotten
Why did I come in here?
![Funny Minion Meme About Dinner Suggestions](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-wifepicks.jpg)
Wife: you pick dinner
me: pizza
wife: no
me: tacos
wife: no
me: subs
wife: no
me: what do you want?!
wife: it’s up to you.
-author killed in unfortunate kitchen accident
Spoiler: Wife picks the first thing you said.
![Snarky Weekend Quote From Minions](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minions-realizeditwassunday.jpg)
My saturday was going pretty well
until i realized it was sunday.
-unknown
Worst Sunday ever.
![Snarky Minion Quote About Taking Insults](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/mnion-sandpaper.jpg)
When people hurt you over and over again,
think of them as sandpaper.
they scratch and hurt you,
but later you’ll be shining and polished.
while they end up useless.
-unknown
Going to be a diamond.
![Snarky Minion Quote About Sleeping In](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-ialwayssay.jpg)
I always say “morning”,
instead of “good morning”,
because if it were a good morning,
i’d still be in bed asleep!
-unknown
It should just be “morning.”
![Snarky Quote From A Woman By Minions](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-cleanthehouse.jpg)
Every woman’s dream is that a man will take her in his arms,
throw her into bed…
and clean the whole house while she sleeps.
-unknown
What a sexy fantasy.
![Snarky Quote About Being Broke From Minions](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-nervousbreakdown.jpg)
I’m so broke,
my nervous breakdown is on layaway.
-unknown
It’s cool, I can make payments soon.
![Snarky Minions Remark About Getting Old](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-notgreyhair.jpg)
They’re not grey hairs,
i’m just growing tinsel.
-unknown
Jingle, jingle!
![Funny Minion Snarky Remarks About Christmas Presents](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-wokeupbox.jpg)
Last year,
i asked santa for the most awesome person ever for christmas.
next day i woke up in a box.
-unknown
Well that solves that.
![Snarky Minion Quote About Time](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-stoptime.jpg)
How to stop time: kiss
how to travel in time: read
how to escape time: music
how to feel time: write
how to waste time: social media
-unknown
Sad but true.
![Snarky And Funny Minion Quote About Christmas](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-whichlist.jpg)
Hey santa,
if i’m good at being naughty,
which list do i go on?
-unknown
Do I get to pick?
![Snarky Christmas Minion Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minions-good-most-of-the-time.jpg)
Dear santa,
i’ve been good all year!
ok, most of the time.
once in a while.
nevermind, i’ll buy my own stuff.
-unknown
Maybe next year, Santa.
![Snarky Christmas Themed Minion Quote](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-clothesfacebook.jpg)
Santa saw your facebook photos.
you are getting clothes and a dictionary for christmas.
-unknown
Surprise!
![Snarky 2020 Minion Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-stucksnowglobe.jpg)
Is it just me,
or does anyone else think we’re stuck in a snow globe,
and some jerk keeps giving it a shake!?
![Snarky Santa Minions Meme](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-santahotlne.jpg)
Don’t annoy me this week, because if you do…
i’ll give your number to all the kids,
and tell them it’s santa’s hotline.
-unknown
Oh that’s cold.
![Snarky Minions Quote About Life](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minions-upthemusic.jpg)
There is always ups and downs in our lives.
so up the music,
down the cocktails
and make the most of what you’ve got!
-unknown
Drink it up, live it up!
![Funny Santa Minions Meme](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-selfcleaninghouse.jpg)
Dear santa,
please bring me a self-cleaning house for christmas this year.
thank you.
-unknown
But not one that will murder me like HAL.
![Funny Minions Meme About Broke At Christmas](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:480/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/minion-christmasmoney.jpg)
Well i’m ready to start my christmas shopping.
who’s got some money i can use.
-unknown