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22 Hilarious and Snarky Funny Quotes

Snarky Funny Quotes  500 Million

Sometimes all you need is $500 million.

Or just $1 million.

Snarky Funny Quotes  Country Music Addiction

You can’t handle my level of country music addiction.

Oh no.

Snarky Funny Quotes  Math

yeah, i can definitely see how i can use this in life.

So useful.

Snarky Funny Quotes  Lazy Moments

That lazy moment when you start reading
someone’s facebook post but realize it’s too long…
so you just press “like”.


Snarky Funny Quotes  Wise Man

A wise man
once said nothing.


Snarky Funny Quotes  Pasta

Body type: not terrible but definitely enjoys pasta.

Loves mac and cheese.

Snarky Funny Quotes  Good Byes

Not all goodbyes are sad.
example: goodbye, school.

Unless you’re a parent.

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Snarky Funny Quote  Together Forever

Let’s be together forever
so we’ll never have to redownload tinder.

Say goodbye to Tinder!

Snarky Funny Quotes  Protective Coating

Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture.
-mario buatta

It is.

Snarky Funny Quotes  Vodka

Someone sent me an email about using vodka
for cleaning around the house…
it worked!
the more vodka i drank,
the cleaner the house looked.


Snarky Funny Quotes  Cleaning

Cleaning is just putting stuff in less obvious places.

Just moving it around..

Snarky Funny Quote  Saving Earth

Everyone wants to save the earth;
no one wants to help mom do the dishes.

They’re hard.

Snarky Funny Quote  Childhood

Childhood is like being drunk.
everyone remembers what you did, except you.

But they tell you about it a lot.

Snarky Funny Quotes  Talk To The Hand

When i was a kid
“talk to the hand”
was the best defense i had.

The only defense, honestly.

Snarky Funny Quotes  Abc

When i was younger,
i used to sing a b c d e f g h i j k elemeno p.
wait i still do that.

That’s okay.

Snarky Funny Quotes  Judging

I will totally judge you based on your choice of breakfast cereal,
you unfrosted weirdo.

Who doesn’t buy fun cereal!?

Snarky Funny Quotes  Bed

Today, i realized that the word “bed” actually looks like a bed.

Deep thoughts.

Snarky Funny Quotes  Shin Bone

Shin. Bone /noun/:
a device used to find furniture in the dark.

Ouch. Yep.

Snarky Funny Quotes  Autocorrect

(n. ) what drunk people use to sound sober,
and what sober people use to sound drunk.

Autocorrect has many uses.

Snarky Funny Quotes  99% Angel

I am 99% angel, but oh that 1%…

She’s the wild one.

Snarky Funny Quotes  Black

Wearing all black today to mourn
the death of my motivation.

Here it lies.

Snarky Funny Quotes  Kissy Face Emoji

I accidentally sent my husband
the kissy face emoji instead of the angry face
& now he thinks i like him.

Dang it!

Snarky Funny Quotes  Drink Water

Drink water.
moisturize your skin.
create a fake instagram
to follow his ex girlfriend’s private account
and love yourself.


Snarky Funny Quotes  Trash

Just because trash can be recycled doesn’t mean
your ex deserves another chance.


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