24 Short Snappy Funny Quotes
![Short Snappy Funny Quotes Bullsh*T](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-bull.jpg)
I was under the impression that bullsh*t came from bulls.
but after hearing you run your mouth
i realized i was mistaken.
Been misled.
At least they’re honest.
![Short Snappy Funny Quotes Being Older](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-not-expected.jpg)
When i was a kid,
i wanted to be older…
this sh*t is not what i expected.
Can I return this?
![Short Snappy Funny Quotes Sarcasm](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-sometimes-sleeping.jpg)
I’m not always sarcastic.
sometimes i am sleeping.
See? Versatile.
![Short Snappy Funny Quotes Sexy](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-sexy-be-me.jpg)
I don’t try to be sexy,
sexy tries to be me.
And how.
![Short Snappy Funny Quotes Diet](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-follows-diet.jpg)
Follows diet.
diet doesn’t follow back.
unfollows diet.
I tried, we just couldn’t make it work.
![Short Snappy Funny Quotes Smiling](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-smiling-shark.jpg)
Scientists claim smiling can lengthen your life.
unless that smile belongs to a shark.
If then, swim as fast you can.
![Short Snappy Funny Quotes Monday](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-monday-wont.jpg)
Maybe if we all sit extremely still
monday won’t be able to see us.
You can’t sit with us.
![Short Snappy Funny Quotes Argument](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-types-faster.jpeg)
Never get into an argument with someone
who types faster than you.
They will keep up!
![Short Snappy Funny Quotes Sugar And Carbs](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-sugar-carbs.jpg)
I’ve cut out sugar and carbs from my diet.
which means i’ve also cut out happiness.
Celery tastes like sadness.
![Short Snappy Funny Quotes Patience](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-patience.jpg)
My patience dies faster than my iphone battery.
And it’s gone!
![Short Snappy Funny Quotes Just One Bite](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-one-bite.jpg)
Oh, fine, i’ll have just one bite.
narrator: she was, in fact going to have more than one bite.
she was about to eat the whole gd thing.
Only she knew.
![Short Snappy Funny Quote Oxygen](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-not-reason.jpeg)
No honey,
you’re not the reason i breathe.
ever heard about oxygen?
Newsflash.
![Short Snappy Funny Quote Morning People](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-morning-people.png)
I don’t like morning people or mornings or people.
Just a few things.
Yep.
![Short Snappy Quote Sarcastic](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-intelligent-beyon.jpg)
I’m not sarcastic.
i’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.
It’s okay.
![Short Snappy Quotes Hell](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-hell-lighting.jpg)
This isn’t an office.
it’s hell
with fluorescent lighting.
Good disguise though.
![Short Snappy Quote Hardest Job](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-hardest-job.jpg)
The hardest job in the world is having to listen
to you complain about having the hardest job in the world.
Yep..
![Short Snappy Quote Happily Ever After](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-happily-ever-after.jpg)
Happily ever after is so once upon a time.
Where’s my prince with a huge student loan payment?
![Short Funny Quotes Next Trick](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-for-my-next.jpg)
For my next trick, i’ll break my own heart by
exaggerating my place in other people’s lives.
Ta-da!
![Short Snappy Quote Hairdo](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-do-you-like-it.jpg)
Hairdresser: do you like it?
me: yes thank you.
*goes home and cries*
Narrator: She did not like it.
![Short Snappy Quote Science](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-appear-bright.jpg)
Light travels faster than sound.
this is why some people appear bright until they speak.
-steven wright
Science.
![Short Funny Quotes Period](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-9-months.jpg)
Period: guess who’s back… back again…
me: ugh, can we not do this today?
period: i can come back in 9 months?
me: keep f*cking singing.
Do it your thing.
![Snappy Funny Quotes Filter](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/funny-coffee-sarcasm.jpg)
My body is a filter:
coffee goes in, sarcasm comes out.
Again, science.