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TFB Short Clips

Originally posted on April 2, 2018 @ 6:15 pm

25 Sarcastic Minion Quotes

Did you know?
Line dancing was started by women waiting to use the bathroom.

Seems accurate.

Men at 26 play football,
Men at 40 play tennis,
Men at 60 play golf,
have you noticed every time you get older
your balls get smaller.

Not touching this one!

I am so athletic.
I surf…
… the internet.

Multiple sites too.

Out of order
until further notice,
my batteries have run down and my give a d*mn is
broken pending repairs!

Stand by for updates.

Wait for someone who keeps you sane,
but drives you crazy in all the right ways.

They’re worth it.

You can’t always control who walks into your life…
but you can control which window you throw them out of.

It’s called balance.

That moment when you get a sweet text
& you just sit there smiling at your screen like a weirdo.

I like them.

Once in a while,
someone amazing comes along…
and here I am!


If God shuts a door,
quit banging on it!
Whatever was behind it,
wasn’t meant for you .
Consider the fact that maybe He closed that door
because He knew you were worth so much more.

You are.

I am a very good person
please don’t force me to show my evil side.


The only warning I take seriously is when my cell phone says
Battery is Low.

Gotta run to that charger.

I panic when someone says:
I need to talk to you.

Scary words.

I am sweet,
lovable, kind, shy & innocent…
Oh for heaven’s sake stop laughing!

This is serious.

If you think patience is a virtue,
try surfing the net without high speed internet.

You give up immediately.

The smile on my face doesn’t mean my life is perfect,
It just means I appreciate what I have and what god
has blessed me with.

It’s good to recognize your blessings.

I’m alive!
that’s about as much as you can expect from me today!


Morning: tired
Afternoon: dying for a rest
Night: Can’t sleep.


Dear Lord,
All I ask for is a chance to prove that winning the lottery
won’t make me a bad person!

I swear.

That moment when you can’t finish a sentence
because you’re laughing so hard about the ending.

Those are the best stories.

My body knows how old I am
but my mind refuses to believe it!

I don’t listen to my body.

What if the algebra teachers are really pirates,
and are using us to find the X.

Argh..what ye be up to?

We had social networks back in the day.
It was called go outside and play!

The graphics were high def too.

Side by side or miles apart
sisters will always be connected by the heart.

Tag your sister.

When you become really close to someone,
you can hear their voice in your head
when you read their texts.

That’s magic.

Diet rule #1:
If nobody sees you eating it,
it doesn’t contain any calories.

Nope, it’s the seafood diet! Hahaha.

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