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25 Sarcastic Minion Quotes

Sarcastic Minion Quotes  Line Dancing

Did you know?
line dancing was started by women waiting to use the bathroom.

Seems accurate.

Sarcastic Minion Quotes  Football

Men at 26 play football,
men at 40 play tennis,
men at 60 play golf,
have you noticed every time you get older
your balls get smaller.

Not touching this one!

Sarcastic Minion Quotes  Surf

I am so athletic.
i surf…
… the internet.

Multiple sites too.

Sarcastic Minion Quote  Out Of Order

Out of order
until further notice,
my batteries have run down and my give a d*mn is
broken pending repairs!

Stand by for updates.

Sarcastic Minion Quote  Waiting For Someone

Wait for someone who keeps you sane,
but drives you crazy in all the right ways.

They’re worth it.

Sarcastic Minion Quote  Control

You can’t always control who walks into your life…
but you can control which window you throw them out of.

It’s called balance.

Sarcastic Minion Quote  Sweet Text

That moment when you get a sweet text
& you just sit there smiling at your screen like a weirdo.

I like them.

Make Your Own Funny Memes Here!

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Sarcastic Minion Quote  Amazing

Once in a while,
someone amazing comes along…
and here i am!


Sarcastic Minion Quote  Shutting Doors

If god shuts a door,
quit banging on it!
whatever was behind it,
wasn’t meant for you.
consider the fact that maybe he closed that door
because he knew you were worth so much more.

You are.

Sarcastic Minion Quote  Very Good Person

I am a very good person
please don’t force me to show my evil side.


Sarcastic Minion Quote  Battery Low

The only warning i take seriously is when my cell phone says
battery is low.

Gotta run to that charger.

Sarcastic Minion Quote  Panic

I panic when someone says:
i need to talk to you.

Scary words.

Sarcastic Minion Quote  Sweet

I am sweet,
lovable, kind, shy & innocent…
oh for heaven’s sake stop laughing!

This is serious.

Sarcastic Minion Quote  Patience

If you think patience is a virtue,
try surfing the net without high speed internet.

You give up immediately.

Sarcastic Minion Quotes  Smile

The smile on my face doesn’t mean my life is perfect,
it just means i appreciate what i have and what god
has blessed me with.

It’s good to recognize your blessings.

Sarcastic Minion Quote  Alive

I’m alive!
that’s about as much as you can expect from me today!


Sarcastic Minion Quotes  Tired

Morning: tired
afternoon: dying for a rest
night: can’t sleep.


Sarcastic Minion Quote  Chance

Dear lord,
all i ask for is a chance to prove that winning the lottery
won’t make me a bad person!

I swear.

Sarcastic Minion Quotes  Finish A Sentence

That moment when you can’t finish a sentence
because you’re laughing so hard about the ending.

Those are the best stories.

Sarcastic Minion Quotes  Age

My body knows how old i am
but my mind refuses to believe it!

I don’t listen to my body.

Sarcastic Minion Quote  Algebra Teachers

What if the algebra teachers are really pirates,
and are using us to find the x.

Argh..what ye be up to?

Sarcastic Minion Quotes  Social Networking

We had social networks back in the day.
it was called go outside and play!

The graphics were high def too.

Sarcastic Minion Quotes  Sisters

Side by side or miles apart
sisters will always be connected by the heart.

Tag your sister.

Sarcastic Minion Quote  Close To Someone

When you become really close to someone,
you can hear their voice in your head
when you read their texts.

That’s magic.

Sarcastic Minion Quotes  Diet

Diet rule #1:
if nobody sees you eating it,
it doesn’t contain any calories.

Nope, it’s the seafood diet! Hahaha.

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