27 Hilarious Snarky Quotes
![Hilarious Snarky Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funny-quote-steal-covers.jpg)
If you think women are the weaker sex,
try pulling the blankets back to your side.
I dare you.
![Hilarious Snarky Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funny-quote-busycoffee.jpg)
I’m holding a cup of coffee,
so yeah, i’m pretty busy.
Got a lot of plans…
![Snarky Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funny-quote-no-idea.jpg)
A day without coffee is like…
just kidding. I have no idea.
Do you?
![Hilarious Snarky Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funny-quotes-dinner-status.jpg)
Current relationship status:
made dinner for two.
ate both.
Solid night.
![Hilarious Snarky Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funny-quote-yep.jpg)
I like to finish other people’s sentences
because my version is better.
And now they know.
![Hilarious Snarky Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funny-quote-wandered-mind.jpg)
I’ve not lost my mind.
half of it just wandered off
and the other half went looking for it.
Tune in for the return.
![Hilarious Funny Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funny-quote-roll-me.jpg)
Roll me in fairydust
and call me a unicorn.
I’m magical.
![Hilarious Funny Quote](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funny-quote-one-line.jpg)
There should be one line at every store
for people who have their sh*t together.
I wouldn’t be in that line except for the times I need cat food, but still.
![Snarky Quotes Hilarious](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funny-quote-make-calories.jpg)
Let’s be clear:
if you spend the time baking a cake/cookies/brownies,
you can eat as many as you want and the calories don’t count.
you made those calories.
you’re the boss of them.
Show them who’s boss and take them down!
![Great Snarky Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funny-quote-burn-letters.jpg)
My therapist told me that a great way
to get rid of my anger is to write letters
to the people i hate and then burn them.
i did that,
and now i don’t know what to do with the letters.
Something got lost in translation.
![Funny Snarky Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funnyquotes-what-do-i-need.jpg)
I’m not anti-social.
i have cable, internet, and a dog.
what else do i need?
A cat.
![Hilarious Snarky Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funnyquotes-anxiety-states.jpg)
United states of anxiety, am i right?
50 states of worry.
![Hilariously Snarky Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funnyquote-know-things.jpg)
I know things
and you’re wrong.
Well then.
![Hilarious Funny Snarky Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funny-pizza-love.jpg)
The best feeling ever is love.
when you know, that you’ll have pizza for a dinner.
Mmm.
![Hilariously Snarky Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funny-quote-travel.jpg)
I want someone to look at me the way i look at a travel brochure.
Adoration.
![Snarky Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/friday-quote.jpg)
Happy fri…
wait it’s thursday.
son of a …
carry on.
This can’t be.
![Snarky Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funny-quote-4-million.jpg)
I got drunk last night and decided to do my own taxes
and now i’m getting back 4 million dollars this year!
Sounds very plausible, yes.
![Hilarious Snarky Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funny-age-level-80.jpg)
We should start referring to “age” as “levels”,
so when you’re lvl 80, it sounds more bada**
than just being an old person.
Level up!
![Hilarious Snarky Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funny-quote-wow-guy.jpg)
Nobody says “wooooow”
longer than a guy who’s been accused of something he did.
If it goes on for a 1 minute, he’s in trouble.
![Snarky Quotes Funny](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funny-quote-servings.jpg)
It’s funny how six servings of fruit & veggies
seems impossible, but two bags of chips &
three bags of candy in one sitting is no challenge.
why am i like this?
Those things are good.
![Hilarous Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funny-quote-squats.jpg)
My exercise routine consists of doing diddly squats.
Tiring too.
![Snarky Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funny-quote-travel-forget.jpg)
I want to vacation so long i forget all my passwords.
I’ll be using password hints for months.
Accurate.
![Hilarious Snarky Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funny-quote-brushing-hair.jpg)
I always imagine that brushing my daughter’s hair
would be a sweet moment of bonding,
but instead it sounds like someone is performing
an exorcism.
What is that screeching?
![Hilariously Snarky Quotes](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/funny-quote-lie-down-again.jpg)
90% of parenting is thinking about when you can lie down again.
Can I yet?
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Do u ever get that sudden outburst of motivation
to go and make ur life better
then 5 mins ur like yeah that’s not happening.
But for that one shiny moment…