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20 Funny Chinese Proverbs to Impart Wisdom and Humour

The Chinese recorded history spans over 5000 years. As wisdom is accumulated through the ages, we can learn and laugh a lot at these wise and funny Chinese proverbs pass down through the generations. There are ageless wisdom for men, sage advice for women, and practical advice for everyone. Enjoy!

Funny Chinese Proverbs - Running And Cars

Those who run in front of cars get tired.
Those who run behind cars get exhausted.

How true.

Funny Chinese Proverb - Toilet

Those that stand on toilets
are high on pot.

Why else would you stand on toilets?

Funny Chinese Proverb - Streaking To Work

Someone who streaks on his way to the office…
is unsuited for his job.

Hands up how many of you have streaked to the office?

Funny Chinese Proverb - Cocky

A man who has a hand in his pocket…
feels cocky all day.

So that’s its pet name?

Funny Chinese Proverb - Firmly Grounded

A man that keeps his feet firmly grounded…
has trouble putting on his pants.

Will have to resort to kilts then.

Funny Chinese Proverb - Sinks

A man who sinks into a woman’s arms…
will soon find his arms in her sink.

That’s love.

Funny Chinese Proverb - A Fitting End

Those who jump off a cliff…
jump to a conclusion.

A fitting end.

Funny Chinese Proverb - Catching Crabs

A man who fishes in another man’s hole…
will often catch crabs.

And worse!

Funny Chinese Proverb - Crackers

Those who eat crackers in bed…
will wake up feeling crummy.

Never thought of it that way.

Funny Chinese Proverb - Hit By A Car

Those that get hit by a car…
will get that run-down feeling.

Funny I’d never expect that.

Funny Chinese Proverb - Peeing On Fences

He who pees on an electric fence…
will receive shocking news.

Always had the urge to pee on fences… dunno why!

Funny Chinese Proverb - Sneezing

Those that sneeze without a hanky…
take matter into their own hands.

A sage advice for COVID-19 mask refusers.

Funny Chinese Proverb - Elevators

Those who make mistakes on an elevator…
are wrong on so many levels.

So so many…

Funny Chinese Proverb - Judging

A woman who sits on a judge’s lap…
gets an honorable discharge.

That’s one way to put it!

Funny Chinese Proverb - Camping

She who goes camping…
must beware of any evil intent.

Better bring protection.

Funny Chinese Proverb - Hard Problems

A boy who goes to sleep with a hard problem…
wakes up with the solution in hand.

Coming of age problem!

Funny Chinese Proverb - Kiss

A passionate kiss, similarly to a spider’s web…
leads to the undoing of the fly.

Is it a trap?

Funny Chinese Proverb - Virginity

The thing is though, virginity is like a bubble…
just one prick and it’s all gone.

Yes…just one prick.

Funny Chinese Proverb - Wise And Foolish

A foolish man gives his wife a grand piano.
A wise man gives his wife an upright organ.

Upright organ sounds so much fuller.

Funny Chinese Proverb - Violence Is Not The Answer

It is not until a mosquito lands on a man’s testicles…
that he realizes violence is not always the best solution.

Neither is diplomacy in this case!

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