23 Funny Quotes About Life to Laugh At
I’m an adult but more like an adult cat…
like someone should probably take care of me
but i can also sorta make it on my own.
I sleep a lot too.
Like dorothy, i attract men who are brainless,
heartless, or cowards.
Funny quotes about life that rings a little too true.
Do you ever sit there giving great advice
and just think to yourself why the f*ck am i so messed up
when i give the greatest advice?
Yup, guess I just tell people what not to do!
Nobody is busier than a person not interested in you.
let me close the fridge, i’ll call you back.
My advice is the best!
If at first you don’t succeed,
try drinking a glass of wine.
you’ll be amazed at how much less you care.
Funny quotes about life to live by.
What’s sexier than a bad boy?
a grown-a** man with his sh*t together.
Get it together!
May your coffee be hot
and your eyeliner be even.
Game. Face.
Funny quotes about life that just hits the spot!
Making food: 1 hour.
eating food: 20 seconds.
washing dishes: never ending.
So it seems.
Me? Normal?
how dare you insult me like that?!
I’m not normal!
Sometimes there are no words to describe
how we feel about some people.
thang god he gave us the
middle finger.
A little rude but yes.
Sage yet funny quotes about life from a great conquerer.
Son: mom, can i sleep with you? I’m scared.
me: no, i can’t risk the monster following you
inton my room and killing me.
Me as a parent?
I’m not searching for my other half because i’m not a half.
I’m whole.
You’re the reason i look down at my phone and smile.
and then walk into a pole.
Or a door.
That’s enough todaying for today.
i’m done.
My quote for every weekday… Here are some quotes for the weekend!.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Be very wise.
Toddler (n. )
emotionally unstable pint-sized dictator
with the uncanny ability to known exactly how far
to push you towards utter insanity before reverting
to a loveable creature.
Kids.
If it requires fake smiling, i probably won’t come.
Nope.
When people see you laying down with your eyes closed,
they still ask “are you sleeping? ”
“no, i’m training to die. ”
Aw.
You turned the page.
i burned the book.
That’s one way to put it.
I know i don’t have to be sarcastic,
but the world has given me so much material to work with..
i would hate to be wasteful.
Thank you!
“can i help you? ”
“no, i just waited in line for 30 minutes to say hi”.
Hi.