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24 Funny Sayings About Life

Funny Sayings About Life  Relationship Wrecker Alarm

Me and my bed are perfect for each other,
but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.

Jealous!

Funny Sayings About Life  Backwards

My day starts backwards…
i wake up tired and i go to bed wide awake.

Funny sayings about life that are so true.

 

Funny Sayings About Life  Electric Bill Not Paid

The face you make
when you didn’t pay the electric bill.

 

Ooops.

Funny Sayings About Life  Need A Hug

I need a
huge amount of money.

Or a small amount.

Funny Sayings About Life  Marriage

Marriage:
when dating goes too far.

Ha.

Funny Sayings About Life  Exercise

Exercise: some motivation required.

It might work.

Funny Sayings About Life  Regret

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning,”
i sleep in until noon because i’m a problem solver.

Yeah!

Funny Sayings About Life  Feeling In Your Stomach

That feeling you get in your stomach
when you see him food…

Oh food.

Funny Sayings About Life  Abs

I want
absolutely everybook, ever.

Accurate.

Funny Sayings About Life  Kale

The best part about kale
is not eating it.

It taste like smushy trees.

Funny Sayings About Life  Negativity

Surround yourself with tacos
not negativity.

Tacos love you.

Funny Sayings About Life  2 Tools

You need only two tools in life:
wd-40 and duct tape.
if it doesn’t move and should, use wd-40
if it moves and shouldn’t, use duct tape.

Funny sayings about life I hear from dads and grandpas!

Funny Sayings About Life  Friends

It’s hard to find a friend who is:
95% talented
96% funny
98% loving
99% intelligent
and 100% sweet…
so don’t you dare…
lose me!!

I’m rare!

Funny Sayings About Life  Sunrise

There is no sunrise so beautiful
that it is worth waking me up to see it.
-mindy kaling

True.

Funny Sayings About Life  Love Is Blind

If love is blind,
why is lingerie so popular?
dorothy parker

An oldie but goodie.

Funny Sayings About Life  Monday Optional

Monday
should be
optional.

Can it be? But then Tuesday would become Monday…

Funny Sayings About Life  Personal Information

I’m not worried about the nsa seeing my personal information
since i already post all of it on facebook.

Enjoy 3893835 pictures of my cat.

Funny Sayings About Life  Sex

I was offered sex today with a victoria’s secret model.
in exchange for that, i was supposed to advertise some kind
of bathroom cleaner on my facebook page.
of course i declined because i am a person of high moral
standards and strong will power.
just as strong as ajax, the incredibly strong bathroom cleanser.
now available in lemon scent and vanilla.

I see what you did there.

Funny Sayings About Life  Vodka

Today is the kind of day where i wash vodka came out of my shower.

Science the sh*t out of this like now!

Funny Sayings About Life  Video Games

If people were influenced by video games,
then the majority of facebook users would be farmers by now.

Oh gosh, remember Farmville?

Funny Sayings About Life  Facebook

If i have learned one thing since joining facebook
it’s that i am not nearly as messed up as i thought i was!

See, it’s useful!

Funny Sayings About Life  99 Bobby Pins

I’ve got 99 bobby pins
but i can’t find one.

Truer funny sayings about life had never been said!

Funny Sayings About Life  Sallie Mae

The only college friend you’ll have
for the rest of your life is sallie mae.

They’ll be there for you…

Funny Sayings About Life  White Teeth

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Blinding!

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