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TFB Short Clips


Originally posted on March 23, 2018 @ 7:42 pm

28 Really Funny Quotes

Really Funny Quotes

Hello darkness my old friend.
I’ve come to dye the gray again.

Goodbye you pesky things.

Really Funny Quotes

The biggest lie ever:
I have read and agree to the terms of use.

Oh totally, I totally did.

Great Funny Quotes

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

But let’s dream.

Funny Quotes

You can’t do epic sh*t with basic people.

So do epic things on your own!

Funny QUotes

Home is where the bra isn’t

Yessssss.

Great funny quotes

Dishes!
We meet again you dirty b*stards!

Why do you always come around?

Funny Quotes

A vodka please.
um, this is McDonald’s
OK, a McVodka, please.

Sounds reasonable.

Great funny quotes

I’m absolutely convinced the socks that go missing
from the dryer turn into extra Tupperware lids.

Where are they coming from?

Hilarious quotes

Yes, I’m a mom,
but I still like to party.
And by party I mean binge on Netflix and take naps.

Party hard.

Funny quotes

Happiness is a slice of pizza.

Mmm.

Great funny quotes

The perfect man;
definition:
An unknown creature available only in books and movies.

Figment.

Hilariously funny quotes

Parenting:
is yelling “You just had a snack!”
over and over until you give in
and throw them another snack.

Give in at the beginning.

Funny quotes

I want to lose weight by eating nothing but moon pies,
which have significantly less gravity than earthier foods
such as fruits and vegetables
Jarod Kintz

Moon Pies are a good pick!

Funny quotes

You live, learn and upgrade.

Trade up.

Great funny quotes

There’s life without Facebook and Internet?
Really?
Send me the link.

Nah doesn’t exist.

Funny hilarious quotes

Holding in all this sarcasm physically hurts.

Take a deep breath.

Funny hilarious quotes

Hell is other people before breakfast.

Avoid.

Great funny quotes

So grateful for Facebook…
otherwise I would have to phone 428 people every night
to let them know I was ready for bed.

Or what I was eating!

Funny true quotes

You don’t see the sh*t I don’t post,
which sits in my folder titled
“I find this hilarious, but some uptight f*ckers won’t”

Save it for yourself.

Funny quotes

The chill pill I took this morning appears to have been a placebo.

Isn’t working..

Hilarious funny quotes

It’s got my name written all over it.
Well
not literally
but give me time and a crayon.

Coloring it up!

Really funny quotes

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
Harry S Truman

They need the challenge.

Funny quotes

Lazy people fact #2347827309018287.
You were too lazy to read that number.

Admit it.

Very funny quotes

I hope life isn’t a joke,
because I don’t get it.

Nope.

Hilarious quotes

Here’s to every mother who has ever eaten a
candy bar in a closet, because frankly
you just didn’t want to share.

Shout out. 

Great funny quotes

…So my nutritionist said the more colorful the dish,
the healthier it is.

So healthy!

Really funny quotes

That feeling when you accidentally swallow a whole candy.

That good feeling?

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