33 Minion Quotes Funny Enough For Every Occasion

I’m at the age where an “all-nighter”
just means that i didn’t have to get up
to pee.
Hey, you got to sleep though.

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone
and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.
Just ask these couples who’ve been pushed to the brink of their relationships because of autocorrect fails!

No issues today.
i’m in my awesome bubble
and you’re not allowed inside!
Now there’s a minion quote funny enough to use as an inspirational quote!

I wonder how cops on bikes arrest people…
“alright now get in the basket! ”
How does that work?

I wish i had a delete button in my life.
to delete some body, some memories,
and some feelings.
Sometimes you can feel this way, but even those experiences may have give you something.

I have never seen a tombstone that said,
“died because i didn’t forward a message
to ten people. ”
Minion quotes funny because how many people just can’t help themselves with forwarding spam!
Ahh…

Ariel, are you jealous?

With enough coffee,
even a monday looks good.
And a Tuesday and a Wednesday..

Love me and i’ll move mountains to make you happy.
hurt me and i’ll drop those mountains on your head.
Make the choice.

I’m not old
i woke up, i lifted my arms,
i moved my knees, i turned my neck…
everything made the same noise:
crrrrrrraaaaaaaacccccckkkk!
… i came to a conclusion:
i am not old,
i’m crispy!
Minion quotes funny because aging is no joke!

That moment when you hit your pinkie toe on a corner
and feel like the world is about to end.
Minion quotes funny because it hurts?

Don’t upset me,
i’m running out of places to hide bodies.
I need to be resourceful.

Yippee!!!
woot woot!!
doing the saturday dance!!!
SATURDAY!!

Short girl problem #24
when the sun visor doesn’t even help
when you’re driving.
Why do I even have it?

If you tailgate me,
i will drive slower to piss you off!
Be warned.

The tongue has no bones,
but it’s strong enough to break a heart.
so be careful with your words.
Yep it’s strong.

I say this 8 times a day.

Ex means:
thanks for the experience,
our time has expired.
now exit my life.
Bye!

Although it gets me into trouble,
i usually always speak my mind.
because it hurts too much to bite my tongue.
Sometimes you got to.

Faith is trusting god
even when you don’t understand his plan.
amen!
Trust and faith are hard to do, but we do them.

Why is it that theme parks can snap a clear picture
of you on a rollercoaster at 70mph,
but bank cameras can’t get a clear shot of a robber
standing still?
Minion quotes funny because it’s true example #1.

Just before i die,
i’m going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels.
my cremation is going to be epic!
But wouldn’t you need to know the exact moment you were going to die?

Top 4 wishes:
1. To earn money without working.
2. To be smart without studying.
3. To love without being hurt.
4. To eat without getting fat.
These are all of our wishes.

Housework
no one notices when you do it,
but everyone notices it when you don’t!
And then they point it out!

How to win any argument.
1. Be a woman.
2. That’s it.
3. You win.
4. Congratulations.
Minion quotes funny because it’s true example #2!

I don’t know my friend’s address,
but i know exactly where their house is.
That’s enough.

I don’t have an attitude problem.
i just have a personality you can’t handle.
A sparkling personality.

Sometimes, the best revenge is to smile,
move on, and do nothing!
Nothing at all.

A best friend is someone who loves you
when you forget to love youself!
They do such a good job too.

There’s no better feeling than going to bed at night
and not having to set an alarm for tomorrow!
Minion quotes funny enough for your weekend!

Sometimes it’s best to just move on,
instead of being the only one willing to fix anything.
Yeah but that’s hard.