37 Funny Life Quotes to Get You Through All This
Whether you’re a parent, student, or an unwitting adult, life can take its toll on you. Take a break and laugh a little at these 37 Funny Life Quotes that will make you see the funny side of life.
Don’t talk to me unless you’re asking if I want it frozen or “on the rocks.”
-Unknown
Can apply to Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday…you get the picture.
-Unknown
They’re just awful.
-Unknown
Such a long week..is it over yet?
I just put a puzzle together in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
-Unknown
I’m on fire this week.
1% to be warm.
1% to be comfortable.
98% to slide across the floor like a freakin’ ninja!.
-Unknown
We all have our power.
(noun>
The brain’s natural defense against the less intelligent.
-Unknown
So rare to see it in the wild.
Me: no, I just dyed the tips invisible.
-Unknown
It’s the newest thing!
you won’t graduate.
-Unknown
Better not start.
You could be used as a bad example.
-Unknown
Or a “before.”
where all the fun stuff happens.
-Unknown
Also, did you hear, we have cookies? So cool.
It’s like “What do you want this year?”
IDK, financial security?
A career?
A sense of purpose?
A nap would be nice.
-Unknown
Or maybe even an actual dinner that wasn’t in a microwave.
they still ask “Are you sleeping?”
“No, I’m training to die.”
-Unknown
They won’t ask you questions again.
That’s your conscience talking.
-Unknown
What’s it saying? Listen.
Hardly!
I have no idea what I’m doing.
So long as you don’t end up dead,
hurt or in prison,
I’m going to call it a win.
-Unknown
Goals, people, goals.
-Unknown
It’s the best time machine ever.
1. A liar.
2. A liar that gets mad when you don’t believe the lies they are telling you.
-Unknown
But that’s their choice.
-Unknown
Remember that.
-Unknown
Sometimes you even outweird me.
so look both ways before you cross me.
-Unknown
Or you’ll learn.
“I could’ve eaten that.”
-Unknown
That’s why I do it all with gusto!
-Unknown
I can’t drink right when I think..oh wait.
-Unknown
Go ahead and get the guac or fries as extra.
I’m always ready for bed.
-Unknown
Like, I can sleep right now.
-Unknown
Which one do you think wins?
I don’t use it for that.
-Unknown
Who does? Who really does?
but really I’m wandering through the house picking up random sh*t
while muttering to myself about “Those f*ckers”.
-Unknown
They got stuff everywhere!
I ignored you just fine the first time.
-Unknown
I’m just continuing to do so.
-Unknown
Now people are judging me.
beautiful chocolate just one time.
-Unknown
Whatever it’s called, it’s delicious.
That high horse makes your a** look big.
-Unknown
Jump on down.
2.
Your child is 2.
-Unknown
I’m going to say I’m 360 months old.
we all know who is really a girl’s best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake.
-Unknown
Finally someone tells the truth. You won’t see that in an advertising campaign!
You’re my entertainment!
-Unknown
I’m loving it, btw.
Whispering, “for f*ck’s sake”.
Before answer to your name.
-Unknown
Then saying “What do they WANT now?”
What did the moron do now!?
-Unknown
Poor thing. She tries.