37 Funny Life Quotes to Get You Through All This
Whether you’re a parent, student, or an unwitting adult, life can take its toll on you. Take a break and laugh a little at these 37 Funny Life Quotes that will make you see the funny side of life.
don’t talk to me unless you’re asking if i want it frozen or “on the rocks. ”
-unknown
Can apply to Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday…you get the picture.
-unknown
They’re just awful.
-unknown
Such a long week..is it over yet?
i just put a puzzle together in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
-unknown
I’m on fire this week.
1% to be warm.
1% to be comfortable.
98% to slide across the floor like a freakin’ ninja!.
-unknown
We all have our power.
(noun>
the brain’s natural defense against the less intelligent.
-unknown
So rare to see it in the wild.
me: no, i just dyed the tips invisible.
-unknown
It’s the newest thing!
Better not start.
you could be used as a bad example.
-unknown
Or a “before.”
where all the fun stuff happens.
-unknown
Also, did you hear, we have cookies? So cool.
it’s like “what do you want this year? ”
idk, financial security?
a career?
a sense of purpose?
a nap would be nice.
-unknown
Or maybe even an actual dinner that wasn’t in a microwave.
they still ask “are you sleeping? ”
“no, i’m training to die. ”
-unknown
They won’t ask you questions again.
that’s your conscience talking.
-unknown
What’s it saying? Listen.
hardly!
i have no idea what i’m doing.
so long as you don’t end up dead,
hurt or in prison,
i’m going to call it a win.
-unknown
Goals, people, goals.
-unknown
It’s the best time machine ever.
1. A liar.
2. A liar that gets mad when you don’t believe the lies they are telling you.
-unknown
But that’s their choice.
-unknown
Remember that.
-unknown
Sometimes you even outweird me.
so look both ways before you cross me.
-unknown
Or you’ll learn.
“i could’ve eaten that. ”
-unknown
That’s why I do it all with gusto!
-unknown
I can’t drink right when I think..oh wait.
-unknown
Go ahead and get the guac or fries as extra.
i’m always ready for bed.
-unknown
Like, I can sleep right now.
-unknown
Which one do you think wins?
i don’t use it for that.
-unknown
Who does? Who really does?
but really i’m wandering through the house picking up random sh*t
while muttering to myself about “those f*ckers”.
-unknown
They got stuff everywhere!
i ignored you just fine the first time.
-unknown
I’m just continuing to do so.
-unknown
Now people are judging me.
beautiful chocolate just one time.
-unknown
Whatever it’s called, it’s delicious.
that high horse makes your a** look big.
-unknown
Jump on down.
2.
your child is 2.
-unknown
I’m going to say I’m 360 months old.
we all know who is really a girl’s best friend.
yours sincerely,
chocolate cake.
-unknown
Finally someone tells the truth. You won’t see that in an advertising campaign!
you’re my entertainment!
-unknown
I’m loving it, btw.
whispering, “for f*ck’s sake”.
before answer to your name.
-unknown
Then saying “What do they WANT now?”
what did the moron do now!?
-unknown
Poor thing. She tries.