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20 Funny Quips, Quotes, and Sayings
A Bank Is A Place That Will Lend You Money If You Can Prove That You Don’t Need It.

That’s how it works!
A Successful Man Is One Who Makes More Money Than His Wife Can Spend. A Successful Woman Is One Who Can Find Such A Man. And again. And again.
I Get Enough Exercise Pushing My Luck. Yep.People Say Nothing Is Impossible But I Do Nothing All Day. See!
Fear Factor Would Have Been Much Scarier If It Had Just Been People In Their Twenties Trying To Figure Out How To Have Careers @Weismanjake Paying student loans, etc.
Do You Think Horses Would Say “Stop Peopling Around” Likely!Letters To The Editor Was Twitter Before There Was Twitter Read it and you’ll see.
Say What You Will About Human Beings But We Did Invent Ice Cream. Andy Richter And it’s pretty good!
Being Sick Sucks. Ive Laid In Bed For Days Ate Nothing Lost 4 Pounds Didnt Go To Work And Slept Nonstop. Wait. Being Sick Is Awesome Bright side!
Into Whole Foods Tonight And Yelled Somebodys Labradoodle Just Jumped Out Of A Parked Subaru And Everyone Ran Out. Devious.
Daughters Are Like Flowers. They Fill The World With Beauty But Sometimes Attract Pests. Oh yeah.
Cats Can Work Out Mathematically The Exact Place To Sit That Will Cause Most Inconvenience. Pam Brown Always.Just Took An Opposite Selfie Of Something I Saw. Elsie Otherie Seeie Oh Photo. Got It. Ohhhh.To The First Person Who Took Their Picture With Their Phone At The Bathroom Mirror You Are A Pioneer. We Salute You. Thank you!
Just Went To Starbucks And No One Was Working On Their Novel. I’m Scared. What’s happening?!
Someone Please Announce An Energy Drink That Will Give You Energy And Enthusiasm To Meet People. Please.Whoever Named I added sugar, so yeah, sugar cookies.
Must Be Great Cats have a great life.
Quote What HappensAnd sometimes 9 months later as well.

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