Hilarious Minion Quotes
Minions are funny little creatures. They act all juvenile but sometimes they have they have the deepest insights. Check out these hilarious minion quotes.
If you want to call a family meeting,
just turn off the wifi router and wait in the room in which it’s located.
-unknown
They will be very surprised.
Me, me, me…I’m dead.
Why brain, why?
Don’t worry about getting older.
you still get to do stupid things,
only slower.
-unknown
Might even have more fun.
When i grow up i’d like to be a
retired lottery winner.
-unknown
Such a dream.
If i share my food with you,
it’s either because i love you a lot,
or because it fell on the floor and i don’t want it.
-unknown
Think carefully.
I hate when i’m trying to eat a salad
and it accidentally falls in the trash and then
i have to eat pizza instead.
-unknown
Lost so many salads this way.
Friends: can i come over?
real friends: i’m coming over
best friends: just appear in your room randomly.
-unknown
Know them well.
Just once, i would like to read a medication label that says:
warning, may cause permanent weight loss,
remove wrinkles & increased energy!
-unknown
That would be a miracle pill!
When i told you i was a normal person,
i may have exaggerated slightly.
-unknown
Okay, a lot.
I made a huge to do list for today.
i just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
-unknown
Hmm, I guess it just won’t get done then.
The less you give a damn,
the happier you will be.
-unknown
Word to the wise.
Dear stomach,
you are bored, not hungry.
so shut up!
-unknown
Stop talking!
I’m currently making some changes in my life.
if you don’t hear from me, you’re one of them.
-unknown
Just wait and see.
Recipe for drama:
1 cup of gossip,
1/4 cup of rumours
and 9 lbs of jealousy.
mix well and cover in lies.
roast for as long as you lack self esteem.
-unknown
A tasty dish to some.
Why do people add you…
on facebook then never talk to you?
-unknown
What is the point?
Eat whatever you want,
and if someone tries to lecture you about your weight,
eat them too.
-unknown
Show them up!
Does anyone see things in their dreams
and then later in life see the exact same thing
and freak out for a couple seconds?
-unknown
Ah, so creepy.
Have you ever wondered if the dollar bills in your purse or wallet
were ever in a strippers butt crack?
if not, you’re wondering now.
-unknown
And in 2020, the toilet paper shortage has everyone using those same dollar bills in their own butt cracks.
My mom raised me right
i did wrong on my own.
-unknown
She tried her best.
When your wife says she needs a new broom,
it’s best not to ask if she broke the last one in a crash landing.
-unknown
May be broken over your head.
Be with someone who brings out the best in you,
not the stress in you.
-unknown
You don’t need that.
Who needs another day added to the weekend?
-unknown
So many days.
I’m like 107% tired.
-unknown
Why is this a thing?