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28 Hilarious Relationship Quotes to Juice Your Love Life

Hilarious Relationship Quotes  Fight A Bear For You

I’d fight a bear for you. Not a grizzly
or a brown bear. Or a panda.
but maybe like a care bear?
i’d fight one of those sonsab*tches for you.

Here’s a great rhyme to go with the hilarious relationship quote above… Relationships are tough, and so are bears. I’m sure there’s a tough Care Bear out there? 

Clever Relationship Quotes  Who To Marry

Marry the one who gives you the same feeling you
get when you see food coming at a restaurant.

That’s why the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

Clever Relationship Quotes  Handful

I know i’m a handful,
but that’s why you got two hands.

Gotta hand it to ya… That’s a pretty clever relationship quote.

Funny Saying About Relationships  3 Main Hobbies

When you realize your 3 main hobbies include:
going to the gym, naps and food.

As the saying goes… “You know you’re in a relationship…”

Funny Relationship Quotes For Him  Time Flies

I can’t believe it’s been a year,
since i didn’t become a better person.

How time flies.



Silly Relationship Quotes  My 2 Faults

My wife says i have only two faults:
1. I don’t listen.
2. Some other shit she was rattling on about.

What’s that funny saying about relationships again?

Witty Relationship Quotes  Going Shopping With Your Wife Or Girlfriend

Target cashier: “did you find everything you were looking for? ”
me: “first of all, i wasn’t looking for any of this. ”

This witty relationship quote describes every shopping trip with your girlfriend / wife.


Make Your Own Funny Memes Here!

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Funny Sweet Quotes  Ready To Party

Sold my halo for liquor, heels and some lingerie

This girl is ready for relationship(s).


Funny I Care About You Quotes  Alcoholics And Weirdos

To my friends: shine on you crazy,
perverted, alcoholic weirdos.
y’all are my people.

A toast to celebrate great friends.

Hilarious Quotes Relationships  Putting 2 Year Old To Bed

Putting a 2-year-old to bed who isn’t tired
is like putting your drunk friend to bed.
there’s singing to themselves.
requesting water.
incoherent babble.
some weird yoga poses.
and then they pass out.

And that’s why you love them!


Hilarious Quotes Relationships  Impressing Some Girls On A Drunken Night Out

I’m pretty sure i had a good time last night…
let me finish reading the police report and i’ll let you know.

They say alcohol is the grease that makes relationships go round…


Funny Saying About Relationships  Mom'S Bod

A body like this doesn’t happen overnight.
it takes pregnancy, some neglect and extra slices of pizza.

There’s a funny saying about relationships making you fat… Yes it’s all true.

Hilarious Relationship Quotes  Best Response

Ex: i still love you.
me: i don’t blame you.

A great quote to use so your relationship that ended stays ended.

Hilarious Quotes About Relationships  Can We Talk

Relationships start with
“can we talk? ”
and end in
“we need to talk. ”

This witty relationship saying sums it up nicely.

Clever Relationship Quotes  Heart

Dear heart,
please stop getting involved in everything.
your job is to pump blood. That’s it.

One of many hilarious relationship quotes to repeat to yourself.

Funny Sweet Quotes  Relationships

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas.
you can stay in it all you want, but it won’t go anywhere.

That’s another clever relationship until electric cars become mainstream!

Silly Relationship Quotes  Car Batteries

Marriage has no guarantees.
if that’s what you’re looking for,
go live with a car battery.

Speaking of relationships and electric cars…

Boyfriend To Husband Quotes  Jealousy

A boy makes his girl jealous of other women.
a gentleman makes other women jealous of his girl.

Cute saying about healthy relationships.

Funny Relationship Quotes For Him  Who'S Right

In a relationship one person is always right.
and the other person is male.

Another hilarious relationship quotes that puts men in their place.

Sweet Relationship Quote

If a girl argued with their boyfriend topless,
they would win every time.

Clever Life Hack.

Hilarious Relationship Quote  Slow Internet

Before you marry a person,
you should first make them use a computer with slow internet
to see who they really are.
will ferrell

Here’s one of the best hilarious relationship quotes to heed!

Relationship Quotes  Women Overthink

Women spend more time thinking about what men think,
than men actually spend thinking.

Is there a right amount of thinking? 

Men Look At Womens Behind And Go Wow What An Ass. Women Look At Mans Face And Think The Same

This could make for a funny caption for online dating site.

Remember When She Cancels A Date She Has To. But When He Cancels A Date He Has Two.

The subtle differences in English language.

Dont Bring Baggage From An Ex Relationship Into Your Next Relationship…Unless You Want It To Be A Short Trip.

Wise sayings for long lasting relationships.

A Relationship Lasts Longer When Facebook Doesnt Know About It.

Hilarious relationship quotes for the modern era?

Todays Relationships You Can Touch Each Other But Not Each Others Phones.

Smartphones has turned everyone into a potential telepath!

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