22 Hilarious New Funny Quotes About Life in General
I yell “stay”
at objects that keep falling over.
Questioning my sanity always makes for perfect funny quotes about life in general.
That awkward moment..
when you’ve already said “what? ” three times
and still have no idea what the person said,
so you just agree.
Or nod.
A clean room is a sign of a
broken computer.
Or the internet is down.
Whenever i clean my closet
i take a gps with me,
so i can find my way back.
It’s a chore.
I’m a leader
not a follower.
unless it’s a dark place,
then screw it, you’re going first.
Funny quotes about life in general that just resonates with born leaders?
If at first you don’t succeed..
try doing it the way your wife told you to.
She knew how to do it.
If i won the award for laziness,
i would send somebody to pick it up for me.
Staying true to the winning spirit.
Me 364 days a year:
“the weatherman is never right! ”
me on groundhog day.
“everyone shut the hell up, a groundhog is predicting the future. ”
Please end winter, magic rodent.
I may look like i’m having deep thoughts
but 99% of the time i’m thinking about
what i’m going to eat later.
Or naptime.
Math.
the only place where people can buy 64 watermelons
and no one wonders why…
It’s a common thing.
Whenever i find the key to success,
someone changes the lock…
Stop it!
Please kindly go away,
i’m introvert-ing.
Just being a little introverty.
My fitness goal is to weigh
what i told the dmv i weigh.
It’s going to happen.
Askhole:
a person who constantly asks for your advice,
yet always does the opposite of what you told them.
Best description of it yet.
Sometimes my mind wanders off to a happy place
where i’m allowed to punch people in the throat,
and there are cute puppies and free cake.
Funny quotes about life in general that perfectly describes life in the year 2020.
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts
in the middle of the store.
this is where my pride realizes i have too much sh*t to carry.
Or just shopping baskets.
Sometimes i pretend to be normal.
but it gets boring.
so i go back to being me.
Ugh, such a boring couple of minutes.
My life has become this one big
“i don’t know”
Funny quotes about life in general that describe me trying to homeschool my kids!
No, i don’t really “rise and shine”.
most days, i just “caffeinate”
and then hope for the best.
Trusting the magic beans.
I lie hashtags
because they look like waffles.
Mm waffles.
You can’t live a full life
on an empty stomach.
Eat up.