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Originally posted on August 25, 2017 @ 10:25 am

30 More Hilarious Quotes You’ll Love

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Just pretend I have the perfect life, family, dog, whatever for me. 
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Those are the smoking gun, the screenshots.

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You didn’t know it, did you?

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I mean, we’ve only got one life! Might as well live it up.
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But what if you’re telling the truth?

 

 

 

 

 

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There are certain songs that must be respected and heard in their entirety. Learn them and you can be mine.

 

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Die you little suckers, die!

 

 

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I want to get off at this level. 

 

 

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Any more questions? Next question?

 

 

 

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They keep getting irritated, and then I get irritated!

 

 

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Should’ve never honked…

 

 

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I’m going to opt for fancy!

 

 

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I can’t help what you think.

 

 

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Sometimes I do this part twice in the morning, you know, to be thorough.

 

 

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They’re my favorite.

 

 

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These are the limits to my judging. Watch them carefully.

 

 

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I mean, it’s not a topic of concern or anything, right?

 

 

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What a wonderful world and day it will be.

 

 

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I should come with an informative pamphlet.

 

 

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Way better choice, in my opinion.

 

 

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I need to tend to the garden more but apparently I don’t want to.

 

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Can’t you see my nonsense clearly?

 

 

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Or a prickly pear

 

 

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“Run!” is the only thing you’ll be able to say when that happens!

 

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It’s a skill that few have and few appreciate.

 

 

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It’s near impossible. Stop trying. Do your thing.

 

 

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I’m warning you.

 

 

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So far, it’s bills, bills, some alcohol and… things sucking.

 

 

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Just flee before it’s too late.

 

 

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I can’t help it if you don’t understand.


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