33 Letter Board Quotes So Funny You’ll ROFL

How to parallel park:
1. Park somewhere else.

Favorite thing about fall
the bugs start their journey back to hell
where they belong.

I’m still waiting for that fairy tale scene
where the animals clean everything for me.

You’ll never realize how little self control you have
until the chips and salsa are in front of you
at a mexican restaurant.

I need to get my life together.
this weather made me realize i can’t go to hell.

I love you more and more each day.
except yesterday.
yesterday you were f*cking annoying.

The weather just went from 90 to 55 like it saw a state trooper!

Sunday carbs don’t count.
those are the lord’s carbs & he wants you to be happy.

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety,
to my festive christmas anxiety.

Frankly autocorrect,
i’m getting a bit tired of your shirt!

Not all who wander are lost.
some are just moms.
in target.

Spilling coffee is the adult equivalent of
losing your balloon.

I’m convinced that every time a sock
goes missing from the dryer,
it comes back as an extra tupperwear lid.

Monday got me like
cntrl.
alt.
delete.
end task.

Marry someone who can cook.
looks fade,
hunger doesn’t.

It’s almost that time of year when other girls
look cute in their flannel and i
look like i’ve misplaced my axe.

You don’t know what you have until it’s gone…
for example,
toilet paper

I knew exactly what to do.
but in a much more real sense,
i had no idea what to do.
-michael scott

Our eyes water when we yawn
because we miss our bed,
and it makes us sad.

I just cleaned everything from top to botton,
so now i’m gonna need everyone to stop living here.

I don’t know what’s longer:
a microwave minute;
or a treadmill minute.

I’m always disappointed when a liar’s pants
don’t actually catch on fire.

Here comes amazon,
here come amazon,
right down my driveway.
-if moms wrote christmas carols

When you accidentally summon a demon
while trying to pronounce ikea furniture names.

I ate one brownie today instead of the entire pan.
pretty sure i am a life coach now.

Welcome to adulthood.
hope you like ibuprofen and not sleeping.

My ability to remember song lyrics from the 80s
far exceeds my ability to remember
why i walked into the kitchen.

I’m no cactus expert
but i known a prick when i see one.

When does hibernation start
because i’m 100 percent participating in that.

The most dangerous drinking game
is seeing how long i can go without coffee.

I’m so glad i learned about parallelograms
instead of how to do taxes.
it’s really handy this parallelogram season.

Me: what could go wrong?
anxiety: i’m glad you asked.

If only i had checked myself.
-guy who wrecked himself