40 Of The Funniest Quotes Ever
40 Funniest Quotes Ever. More funny quotes here.
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To boldly go where no sarcasm has gone before.
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That must be the explanation or else I have two devils on my shoulder, no angels.
![The Funniest Quotes Ever 320](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/The-Funniest-Quotes-Ever-320.jpg)
Nah, this isn’t true. Sometimes you’re asleep too.
![The Funniest Quotes Ever 330](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/The-Funniest-Quotes-Ever-330.jpg)
There goes the fruit of your labors.
![The Funniest Quotes Ever 322](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/The-Funniest-Quotes-Ever-322.jpg)
Just keep holding on to that.
![The Funniest Quotes Ever 313](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/The-Funniest-Quotes-Ever-313.jpg)
Oh gosh…oh well! Guess it’s Chardonnay cheerios today.
![The Funniest Quotes Ever 328](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/The-Funniest-Quotes-Ever-328.jpg)
And the chaise is a gateway drug.
![The Funniest Quotes Ever 317](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/The-Funniest-Quotes-Ever-317.jpg)
Honestly, you should admire my followthrough.
![The Funniest Quotes Ever 331](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/The-Funniest-Quotes-Ever-331.jpg)
And the squirrel is likely rabid.
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In the dark, no one can see me eat, and I like it that way.
![The Funniest Quotes Ever 329](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/The-Funniest-Quotes-Ever-329.jpg)
My survival skills are very limited.
![The Funniest Quotes Ever 307](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/The-Funniest-Quotes-Ever-307.jpg)
Who says I’m crazy?
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What’s important is I like me!
![The Funniest Quotes Ever 304](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/The-Funniest-Quotes-Ever-304.jpg)
Designer, natch.
![The Funniest Quotes Ever 312](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/The-Funniest-Quotes-Ever-312.jpg)
And when mom and dad paid for everything.
![The Funniest Quotes Ever 310](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/The-Funniest-Quotes-Ever-310.jpg)
And it’s stuck in the on position!
![The Funniest Quotes Ever 309](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/The-Funniest-Quotes-Ever-309.jpg)
Be a Lucy: Make em laugh, slay them with your looks, and run the whole damn place, ala Desilu
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Sit tight. It’s going to be a bumpy night here once I get started.
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There’s a difference.
![The Funniest Quotes Ever 314](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/The-Funniest-Quotes-Ever-314.jpg)
Too bad you can’t donate good looks!
![The Funniest Quotes Ever 315](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/The-Funniest-Quotes-Ever-315.jpg)
That’s the test.
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Plan B, as in Plan beautiful!
![The Funniest Quotes Ever 318](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/The-Funniest-Quotes-Ever-318.jpg)
Let’s just get my shame out of the way now.
![The Funniest Quotes Ever 319](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/The-Funniest-Quotes-Ever-319.jpg)
Then all bets are off.
![The Funniest Quotes Ever 321](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/The-Funniest-Quotes-Ever-321.jpg)
But keep trying to claim the upperhand.
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I can buy a pack of water balloons and fling them..that’s about it.
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Unless you’re a cup of Joe, I don’t want to see you.
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Now we know why our parents were stressed at times. But that’s the secret.. No one knows what’s going on, so make the best of it.
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Not that I’ve tested it.
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Forecast likely of more WTFs throughout the night.
![The Funniest Quotes Ever 332](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/The-Funniest-Quotes-Ever-332.jpg)
Is this a line from Twilight?
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Then it’s the end of the world.
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I hope it at least has three settings for that mistake.
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Success has the work.
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Is there pre-crime thought police yet? Thank goodness.
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I’m doing you all a favor!
![The Funniest Quotes Ever 340](https://thefunnybeavercomd030b.zapwp.com/q:i/r:0/wp:1/w:1/u:https://thefunnybeaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/The-Funniest-Quotes-Ever-340.jpg)
or a barnacle on a whale.
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Three year champion, consecutive here.
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No one says you can’t start it with lite beer either.