60 Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids and Adults, Plus Puns and Riddles

Thanksgiving jokes work best when they’re short enough to tell between passing the potatoes and finding the gravy. These 60 are all new, written for this page: easy question-and-answer jokes for kids, turkey and pie puns, jokes for adults about hosting, relatives and football, a few riddles for the kids’ table, and quick toasts for when someone says you should say a few words. All of them are clean enough for Grandma.

Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids

Question-and-answer jokes that work for little kids and the grown-ups who have to hear them twelve times.

What did the turkey say when the farmer asked for a selfie? “Sure, just don’t post it until December.”
Why did the pumpkin pie go to the doctor? It was feeling a little crusty.
Why did the pie bring a ladder to dinner? It heard the whipped cream was on top.
What did the gravy say to the mashed potatoes? “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.”
What did the Pilgrim say when he got lost? “I should have turned left at Plymouth Rock.”
What kind of music do leftovers listen to? Wrap.
Why was the turkey so good at hide-and-seek? It practiced all of November.
What’s the dog’s favorite part of Thanksgiving? The free buffet under the kids’ table.
Why was the sweet potato so calm? It had marshmallows on top and nothing to prove.
Why does cranberry sauce come out shaped like the can? It’s shy and doesn’t like change.
How can you tell a turkey is nervous? It keeps checking the calendar.
Why did the dinner roll get a time-out? It was being crumby to the butter.
What do you call a pie that tells jokes? A pun-kin pie.
Why did the kids’ table start a petition? They wanted a vote on having dessert first.
Why did the corn sit next to Grandpa? It wanted to be all ears for his stories.

Thanksgiving Puns

One-liners for anyone who thinks a groan counts as a laugh.

I’m thankful for gravy. It’s been with me through thick and thin.
My uncle tried to carve the turkey with a butter knife. The results weren’t exactly cutting-edge.
Pumpkin pie and I have a very crust-worthy relationship.
I tried to write a turkey pun, but it came out half-baked.
The stuffing has strong opinions. It’s very well-seasoned.
The cranberry sauce isn’t wobbly. It’s just excited to see you.
I asked the sweet potato how it was doing. It said, “Yam good, thanks.”
That casserole is so cheesy it should host a game show.
The bread rolls showed up late again. Typical loafers.
I told the turkey a secret. Now the whole table is gobbling about it.
Grandma’s pie recipe is top secret. It’s on a need-to-dough basis.
The pie crust failed its exam. Too many flaky answers.

Thanksgiving Jokes for Adults

For the hosts, the in-laws and everyone who has ever been asked to “just grab more ice.”

Thanksgiving is the one day a year my whole family agrees on something: someone should have brought more ice.
I spent three days cooking a meal that disappeared in nineteen minutes. That’s also a fair summary of my twenties.
My mother-in-law asked if I brined the turkey. I said I brined myself in coffee at 5 a.m., and that should count.
Every family has one relative who arrives at 3 with a bag of ice and leaves at 5 with a plate of everything.
Hosting Thanksgiving is running a restaurant for one day where the customers also review your life choices.
Stretchy pants are the unsung heroes of the fourth quarter.
My uncle has watched football for six hours and calls it “helping in the kitchen” because he can hear it from there.
Dinner was supposed to be at 2. The turkey had other plans, and the turkey runs this house now.
The best part of Thanksgiving is the nap nobody is allowed to call rude.
I asked everyone to bring a side. My brother brought his side of an argument from 2009.
We go around the table saying what we’re thankful for. I always say “the person who brought the wine,” and they know.
My aunt asks when I’m getting married every year. This year I’m asking when she’s returning my casserole dish from 2017.
I measure a good Thanksgiving by how many foil swans full of leftovers leave the house.
The dishwasher is the real host. It just never gets a toast.
Nothing brings a family together like fifteen people looking for one TV remote.

Thanksgiving Riddles

Read the riddle, give everyone a minute, then reveal the answer.

I have a crust but I’m not the Earth, and a filling but I’m not a tooth. What am I? Answer: A pie.
What has ears but never hears a word anyone says at dinner? Answer: Corn on the cob.
I keep the shape of my can, I jiggle when you poke me, and I only show up once a year. What am I? Answer: Canned cranberry sauce.
What gets fuller the more the family eats? Answer: The dishwasher.
I’m made of bread but I’m not a sandwich, and I spend the day inside a bird. What am I? Answer: Stuffing.
What sails around the table every year but never touches water? Answer: The gravy boat.
What runs for hours on Thanksgiving but never leaves the living room? Answer: The football game.
What has a wishbone but never gets to make a wish? Answer: The turkey. The kids make the wish for it.

Funny Thanksgiving Toasts for the Dinner Table

Short enough to say before the food gets cold.

Here’s to the cook, the dishwasher, and whoever is about to volunteer to be both.
May your turkey be juicy, your rolls be warm and your political opinions stay in the car.
Let’s give thanks for family, food and the fact that nobody had to make a reservation.
I’m grateful for this meal and for the elastic waistband that made it possible.
Cheers to the leftovers: tomorrow’s lunch, Saturday’s lunch and next Wednesday’s mystery container.
To the kids’ table: may you graduate soon, but not before I do.
Here’s to everyone who said “just a little bit” and went back three times.
Thank you to whoever invented pie. You’re the real founder of this holiday.
To the turkey, who didn’t ask to be the guest of honor but showed up anyway.
Grace is short this year: thanks for the food, amen, please pass the potatoes.

More Thanksgiving Laughs

Still hungry for more? These pair well with the jokes above: