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TFB Short Clips


Originally posted on April 30, 2018 @ 2:04 pm

21 Funny Quotes and Sayings About Life

Funny Quotes And Sayings About Life - Sarcasm

Holding all this sarcasm physically hurts.

A sacrifice has been made.

Funny Quotes About Life - Sarcasm

My sarcasm and sincerity sound surprisingly similar.

Which is which?

Funny Sayings About Life - Earth

There is not one MF walking this earth
that is worth you laying awake at night
feeling like you’re not good enough.
Remember that sh*t.

Don’t let them get you down.

Funny Quotes And Sayings About Life - Anti-Social

I’m not anti-social.
I have cable, internet, and a dog.
What else do I need?

What else?

Funny Quotes And Sayings About Life - Some Day

Some days I have my sh*t together…
Some days I spit toothpaste in my own hair.

Balance.

Funny Quotes And Sayings About Life - Sweary Moms

Sweary moms are my people.
I just can’t trust anyone who can’t drop a well placed f bomb!

Go moms!

Funny Quotes And Sayings About Life - Netflix

Netflix is so insecure sometimes.
Yep, I’m still here.
You can stop asking.

And I will always be.

Funny Quotes And Sayings About Life - Lottery

Might wake up early and go for a run.
Might also win the lottery,
the odds are about the same.

Yep.

Funny Quotes And Sayings About Life - Inner Child

I’m not so sure about an inner child,
but I have an inner idiot that surfaces every now and then.

It’s there.

Funny Quotes And Sayings About Life - Bank

My bank called because they noticed “highly suspicious activity”
on my charge account.
It was for a gym membership.

Hahah. It was suspicious.

Funny Quotes And Sayings About Life - Figure Me Out

If you figure me out, I want an explanation.

A PowerPoint maybe.

Funny Quote And Saying About Life - Expensive Taste

I have very expensive taste for someone with $3.85 in their bank account.

Deluxo.

Funny Quotes And Sayings About Life - Late

Have you ever been so late you just decide to take your time instead?

It happens.

Funny Quotes And Sayings About Life - Last Words

I feel like however I die,
my last words are going to be
“But I’m still hungry.”

Hungry!

Funny Quotes And Sayings About Life - Birthstone

My birthstone is a coffee bean.

Best birthstone.

Funny Quotes And Sayings About Life - Ambitchous

Ambitchous
(adj.) striving to be more of a b*tch than the average b*tch.

New words!

Funny Quotes And Sayings About Life - Brushing Teeth At Night

I hate brushing my teeth at night
because that signifies that you can’t
have anymore food and I’m just never ready
for that kind of commitment.

Like, what if I want a snack?

Funny Quotes And Sayings About Life - Hollister

Welcome to HOLLISTER CALIFORNIA
would you like a gasmask and a flashlight?

Try not to breathe it in too much.

Funny Quotes And Sayings About Life - Exaggerating

I spend 500% of my life exaggerating.

Sounds accurate.

Funny Quotes And Sayings About Life - Simon Says

Shortest game of Simon Says:
“Simon says jump! Simon didn’t say land,
you’re all out.”

That’s pretty good!

Funny Quotes And Sayings About Life - Bruise

You discover a bruise…
The first thing you do is think,
“How did I get this?”
The second thing you do?
Poke it.

Why?!

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