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93 Funny Quotes You Will Absolutely Love

Here are 34 funny quotes yo are going to absolutely love.

Funny Quote: Do Not Read The Next Sentence, You Little Rebel, I Like You

TicTacToe Drawing Where The Winning Line Goes Outside The Grid: Think Outside The Box

Funny Quote: Have You Ever Listened To Someone For A While And Wondered Who Ties Your Shoelaces For You?

Funny Quote In Bold Letters: All Things Are Possible With Coffee And Mascara

Funny Quote: The More You Weigh, The Harder You Are To Kidnap, Stay Safe, Eat Cake

Funny Quote In White On Black: Sunshine Mixed With A Little Hurricane

Holiday Gift Guides

Funny gifts people will actually fight over in a white elephant swap

Funny Quote: I Love It When The Coffee Kicks In And I Realize What An Adorable Boss I'm Going To Be Today

Funny Quote: So It Turns Out That Being An Adult Is Mostly Just Googling How To Do Stuff

Funny Quote: Me, Crazy? I Should Get Down Off This Unicorn And Slap You

Funny Quote: Some People Are Like Clouds, When They Disappear It's A Beautiful Day

Funny Pet Quote: The Best Therapist Has Fur And Four Legs

Funny Quote: Life Is Not A Fairy Tale, If You Lose Your Shoe At Midnight, You're Drunk

Winston Churchill Quote: Tact Is The Ability To Tell Someone To Go To Hell In Such A Way That They Look Forward To The Trip

Funny Quote: An Apple A Day Keeps Anyone Away If You Throw It Hard Enough

Funny Introvert Quote: Please Kindly Go Away, I'm Introverting

Funny Quote: There's No Need To Repeat Yourself, I Ignored You Just Fine The First Time

Funny Quote: I Have Enough Money To Live Comfortably For The Rest Of My Life, If I Die Next Thursday

Funny Quote Signed By Vodka: Trust Me, You Can Dance

Sunshine Mixed With A Little Hurricane, A Second Version Of The Quote In Condensed White Letters

Funny Quote: Some Days You Eat Salads And Go To The Gym, Some Days You Eat Cupcakes, It's Called Balance

Funny Quote: Sorry, I Can't Go To Work Tomorrow, I Fractured My Motivation

Funny Quote: I Don't Get Drunk, I Just Get Less Classy And More Fun

Funny Quote: If I Was A Bird, I Know Who I'd Poop On

Chalkboard Quote: Depresso, That Feeling You Get When You've Run Out Of Coffee

Funny Definition Of Procaffeinating: The Tendency To Not Start Anything Until You've Had A Cup Of Coffee

Funny Quote: Only Dead Fish Go With The Flow

HandLettered Quote: My Head Says Gym But My Heart Says Tacos

Funny Quote: There Is Absolutely No Excuse For Laziness, But If You Find One, Let Me Know

Funny Quote On Blush Pink: All I Care About Is Pasta And Like 3 People

Funny Quote: Everything Is Figureoutable

Funny Quote: If You Gotta Force It, Leave It Alone, Relationships, Friendships, Ponytails

Funny Quote: My Hairstyle Is Called I Tried

Brush Lettering Quote: I'm Not Weird, I Am Limited Edition

Funny Quote: I Love Sarcasm, It's Like Punching People In The Face But With Words

 

Just pretend I have the perfect life, family, dog, whatever for me.

Just Pretend I Have The Perfect Life, Family, Dog, Whatever For Me.

Funny Quote: There Are Two Sides To Every Story, And Then There Are The Screenshots

You didn’t know it, did you?

You Didn't Know It, Did You?

I mean, we’ve only got one life! Might as well live it up.

I Mean, We've Only Got One Life! Might As Well Live It Up.

But what if you’re telling the truth?

But What If You're Telling The Truth?

There are certain songs that must be respected and heard in their entirety. Learn them and you can be mine.

There Are Certain Songs That Must Be Respected And Heard In Their Entirety. Learn Them And You Can Be Mine.

Die you little suckers, die!

Die You Little Suckers, Die!

I want to get off at this level.

I Want To Get Off At This Level.

Any more questions? Next question?

Any More Questions? Next Question?

They keep getting irritated, and then I get irritated!

They Keep Getting Irritated, And Then I Get Irritated!

Should’ve never honked…

Funny Quotes You Will Absolutely Love: Should've Never Honked...

I’m going to opt for fancy!

I'm Going To Opt For Fancy!

I can’t help what you think.

I Can't Help What You Think.

Sometimes I do this part twice in the morning, you know, to be thorough.

Sometimes I Do This Part Twice In The Morning, You Know, To Be Thorough.

They’re my favorite.

Funny Quotes You Will Absolutely Love: They're My Favorite.

These are the limits to my judging. Watch them carefully.

These Are The Limits To My Judging. Watch Them Carefully.

I mean, it’s not a topic of concern or anything, right?

I Mean, It's Not A Topic Of Concern Or Anything, Right?

What a wonderful world and day it will be.

What A Wonderful World And Day It Will Be.

I should come with an informative pamphlet.

I Should Come With An Informative Pamphlet.

Way better choice, in my opinion.

Way Better Choice, In My Opinion.

I need to tend to the garden more but apparently I don’t want to.

I Need To Tend To The Garden More But Apparently I Don't Want To.

Can’t you see my nonsense clearly?

Can't You See My Nonsense Clearly?

Funny Insult Quote Over Bokeh Lights: If You Were A Vegetable You'd Be A Cabbage, A Rude Pun

“Run!” is the only thing you’ll be able to say when that happens!

Run! Is The Only Thing You'll Be Able To Say When That Happens!

It’s a skill that few have and few appreciate.

It's A Skill That Few Have And Few Appreciate.

It’s near impossible. Stop trying. Do your thing.

It's Near Impossible. Stop Trying. Do Your Thing.

I’m warning you.

Funny Quote: My Alone Time Is Sometimes For Your Safety

Funny Quote: I Was Led To Believe Adulthood Would Involve More Cocktail Sipping And Less Everything Being Awful

Just flee before it’s too late.

Just Flee Before It's Too Late.

I can’t help it if you don’t understand.

I Can't Help It If You Don't Understand.

They would betray me.

Funny Quote: I Couldn't Be Fake About Anything Even If I Tried, My Facial Expressions Would Never Allow It

Wow!

Funny Quote: Apparently, When You Treat People The Same Way They Treat You, They Get Offended

They do.

Funny Quote: Best Friends Don't Care If Your House Is Clean, They Care If You Have Wine

Get money.

Funny Quote: I Am Emotional Enough Today To Post A Dramatic Quote From Pinterest, But I'm A Thug

Yep

Funny Shopping Quote: Online Shopping Gives Me A Reason To Live For Another 3 To 5 Business Days

They staring.

Funny Quote: People Stare At Me Like They've Never Seen A Walking Goddess Before

..Didn’t go the way you thought it would, huh?

Didn't Go The Way You Thought It Would, Huh?

Sorry.

Funny Sarcastic Quote: I'm Sorry I Offended You With My Common Sense

The truth.

Funny Quote: I Love Buying New Things But I Hate Spending Money

Yeah.

Funny Quote: What's Stopping You From Doing What You Want? Well, There's My Parents, Money, Anxiety

Where?

Funny Quote: You Call Me Your Best Friend, But Where Were You When My Selfie Only Had Four Likes?

Very.

Vintage Ecard Of A Woman With A Pie: I Have A Condition That Prevents Me From Going On A Diet, I Get Hungry

Count em!

Someecards: Only Kids Count Sheep, Count Your Debts And Mistakes And Cry Yourself To Sleep Like A Grownup

True.

Lucille Ball Making A Face: I Try Not To Judge Because I'm Quite Messed Up Myself

We do.

Funny Quote In White On Black: We All Deserve An Alcoholiday

The one.

Funny Single Quote: I've Been Single For A While And It's Going Well, I Think I'm The One

Who?

Funny Quote: From Now On I'm Telling Jobs I Was The General Manager At Toys R Us, Who Are They Gonna Call

Slick.

Funny Pickup Line: You're Like A Sharpie, Super Fine

Ah parenthood.

Funny Mom Quote: I Used To Be Cool, Now I'm A Tiny Person's Snack Servant

Huge.

Someecards: I'm Sorry Your Life Is A Bigger Mess Than Walmart On Black Friday

Sorry.

Funny Quote: I Don't Think I Meet The Height Requirement To Ride Your Emotional RollerCoaster

So much.

Funny Quote: I Love That Point When You Are So Tired That Everything Is Funny

So much.

Funny Quote: Out Of All My Body Parts My Eyes Are In The Best Shape, I Do At Least A Thousand Eye Rolls A Day

A little, yep.

Funny Quote: During The Day I Don't Believe In Ghosts, At Night I'm A Little More OpenMinded

So much stuff.

Funny Quote: I Can't Clean My Room Because I Get Distracted By The Cool Stuff I Find

Don’t do it.

Funny Quote: Going Back To Your Ex Is Like Reheating Your Mcdonald's Fries

You should.

Funny Quote Over A Field: Oh, I Offended You With My Opinion? You Should Hear The Ones I Keep To Myself

It’s not possible!

Funny Quotes You Will Absolutely Love: It's Not Possible!

Where’s my warning?!

Funny Quotes You Will Absolutely Love: Where's My Warning?!

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